i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
