She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
