i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
