They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
