I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
