It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
