escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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