we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
