I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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