my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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