Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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