So drunk its hurt
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
