I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
