My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
