Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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