He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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