ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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