@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
