Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
