Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
