he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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