try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
