You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sarcasm needs its own font
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
