so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
