this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
