Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
