it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
