she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
