We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
