I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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