Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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