if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
