And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
