..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
