all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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