The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
