I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
