we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
