I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
