I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
