Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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