Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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