Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
