the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
