i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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