dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
