So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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