U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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