does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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