belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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