Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
