Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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