You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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